A classic 80’s song that I was raised to hum along to while doing yard work sings:
” What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more”
This week we are talking about preparing for a happy and successful marriage. This makes me wonder, what is love? I am not one who has said, or plans on saying very often in my life those three extremely powerful words, I. Love. You. So this is a question that I ask myself regularly in my preparation to say this to the person I hope to be with for eternity. I asked a couple of my close friends about what they thought love was and a few of the responses that I got were:
” Love is when you put someone else’s needs above your own”
“Love is what you feel when you realize you can’t live without someone”
“Love is what gives you butterflies and makes you want to constantly smile”
So what is love? Is it something that we can truly define, or is it something that has to be defined by each individual personally when they begin to learn to love? I don’t know if I have the answer to this, but generally in life when I am trying to answer some of the hardest questions I come across I follow one rule. Look to the children. Children know how to love more fully and with more loyalty than almost anyone that I know.
So I don’t know what the definition of love truly is, but I know that when my sweet baby nephew hugs me he holds nothing back. Love is pure. Love is happiness.
Something interesting we have been considering in both my Parenting class as well as my Family Relations class is the idea that we parent genders differently. I personally was raised in a house of three girls. So thinking back to how we were raised I assumed there was no other way. We were quite sheltered and much more soft words were commonly used when discipling. We were not allowed to go outside without a parent there to watch for us, and what we wore and how we would sit would be very lady like, or else.
This is something that I thought was normal, until I got older and began to hear about others childhood experiences. When I talk to my brother in law he tells me that growing up for him had a good number of adventure, outdoor play, getting lost and scrapped up and brushing it of. This blew my mind! His mom didn’t make sure that his shirt was tucked in, not a hair was out of place, and everything was clean and matching?! His mind was a little blown hearing about mine and his wife’s life as well.
This makes me wonder, how differently do we parent our children based off of gender? Is it appropriate? Where do we draw lines in this aspect?
How interesting is it that the topic of a family has become a controversial, and potentially offensive conversation that needs to be approached with caution? Something that use to be common ground amongst people was that the family was worth fighting, something to be cherished, never trashed. Now, due to the rise of controversy in the gay and lesbian community, being a supporter of a traditional family is offensive?
I don’t want to begin a who blames who blog entry here. I don’t want to begin who is right sort of entry either. What I would like to do is express my gratitude and support for the family that I was raised in, that I do not consider traditional or common, but with a mother and a father at the head of the family leading us. I encourage everyone to consider respect and love when approaching this topic. Yes, I was raised by two loving parents, a mother and a father. Yes I am a supporter of a traditional family, because I believe that there are things that both a man and a woman bring to a relationship that are necessary and beneficial to the family. And yes, I believe that everyone deserves respect and consideration. I am grateful for the time and love that my parents put into raising me in the traditional, not so traditional family I call my own.
Please feel free to check out this link on the LDS faiths take on the traditional family.
Something interesting that I have been pondering this week:
Are some cultures better than others? And can there be cultures within cultures just in each individual family unit?
I cannot tell you that I have the perfect answer to this question. I am sure that there are many opinions out there regarding these questions, and I would love to hear them. However I thought I might take a minute to talk about about the thoughts I have had regarding the manor.
When you take the time to study different kinds of culture you may come to realize that while it may not be politically correct to say that some cultures are better than others, I think that it is very appropriate and accurate to say that there are some cultures that are much less appropriate than others. Some cultures find it decent to take justice into their own hands and apply cruel forms of punishment to young children, women, men, anyone involved, whether that can be proven or not. I think that it is safe to say that these cultures are in need of change.
But can there be cultures within cultures in different families? I personally believe that my family is a perfect example of this. I come from a white family, born and raised in Texas, in a Mormon community. I am LDS myself, and was quite surrounded by members of my church, as well as many other churches. There is a stereotype that many people would place a white Mormon family in. One that is reclusive to other members of their church, with peculiar ideas regarding religion and what we are willing to consume, say and dress. Also one of my favorite questions growing up, “do you have 10 brothers and sisters?” or, “how many mom’s do you have?” When in actuality I have two sisters, one mother, one father, and a wonderful group of Mormon friends, as well as amazing friends from several different religions. My family over the years have created our very own culture. We have arguments in different ways, we clean in different ways, we have very different humor, traditions, and priorities. This is what makes my families culture. Some of these things I hope to apply in my future family, some things that I would like to evolve into different things. Non the less, all things that have helped develop me into the woman I am today.
What are some of your family dynamic that make up a culture for your family?
Society today is all about finding the newest and best thing on the market. I’m not even sure what the current version of iphone is out right now. Last I checked it was like the iphone15 I think. We have come to a point in our lives where a binding contract is avoided in every way, because what if something better comes out right?
This being said, you might be interested to hear that the divorce rate in America has actually gone down since the 1970’s. However this is largely due to the fact that the cohabitation rate has gone up drastically, so there is no need for divorce. The sad truth of the matter is, there is a lack of commitment in society that in my opinion, is not receiving the attention it deserves.
The damaging affect that divorce has on the younger generations in the home should never be over looked. We cannot expect that these impressionable, younger generations are not being affected by this in a negative way. When we make things that appear to be replaceable to our children they too will grow up with that very same mentality. Divorce is damaging to far more than the members directly involved.